You are like a walking target for well-meaning new teacher advice. Some will be the best teaching advice ever, like ever, and some will be bad teaching advice. But, one of the things you should always do is attempt to keep your sense of humour. So, with a quick search on Pinterest, here is the best funny teacher advice out there.
NEW TEACHER ADVICE NUMBER 01: ONCE I GET THIS PREPPED AND LAMINATED I WILL BE SET FOR YEARS. OOH, LOOK! NEW CURRICULUM.
So. Annoyingly. True. You can spend ages organising your resources, being super organised, laminating as if you had shares in laminators… and then everything changes. Soon you will be so scared of putting too much prep in too early – you will turn up to school at 7.05am with nervous anticipation at what might have changed in the 10 hours since you left. Exaggeration? Only slightly.
NEW TEACHER ADVICE NUMBER 02: I WILL NOT YELL IN CLASS. I WILL NOT THROW THINGS IN CLASS. I WILL NOT HAVE A TEMPER TANTRUM. I WILL ALWAYS BE GOOD. BECAUSE I AM THE TEACHER.
You will make a promise not to shout at students. Sometimes you will shout at children. You would never think of throwing things when the children are there… but it is highly likely that something will fly across your empty room at some point. It is an emotional game this teaching malarkey – don’t be disappointed in yourself if at some point the inner child makes a prominent showing in your day.
NEW TEACHER ADVICE NUMBER 03: I WISH EVERYONE WOULD JUST TELL EACH OTHER: “IT’S OKAY. I DON’T KNOW WHAT I AM DOING EITHER.”
No-one knows what they are doing – everyone is guessing. I used to tell kids that teaching is blagging in a confident voice. You can say anything in class and as long as you sound 100% convinced, then you are correct and you are wise. Sit in the staffroom and look at the cockiest teacher and know they are blagging more than everybody else.
NEW TEACHER ADVICE NUMBER 04: I WILL KEEP MY HANDS, FEET, AND OBJECTS TO MYSELF WHEN NON-TEACHERS TELL ME HOW TO RUN MY CLASSROOM.
Everyone went to school, so everyone thinks they are an expert in the classroom. I always found that the photocopying lady was always the most expert classroom practitioner in the school – the amount of advice she seemed to throw around. The only people I used to really listen to where teaching assistants – those people follow these kids around the school and have observed more lessons than any teacher will ever be able to in a career. They are clever people. Listen to them!
NEW TEACHER ADVICE NUMBER 05: YES, I REARRANGED YOUR DESKS AFTER SCHOOL YESTERDAY.
Seriously, kids hate change. If you want to mess with their heads, move the tables. They will walk in and pin themselves to the walls. They will not know where to sit and suddenly all the rules in the classroom are up in the air. You have shattered their sense of what is known in the world. You are now once more God of your room – go forth and impose a seating plan.
Now, I told you there was some advice out there that was amazing – the best advice ever, like ever. And, I guess you stopped reading and thought – well share it then- and I moved on and was flippant and silly and just plain enjoyed myself. Well, this is a case of show and do. The best advice ever, like ever: When a teacher enjoys teaching kids just know. Love the job and kids will love learning with you. There. That is the best I got. Enjoy.